Grit Nation
Join host Joe Cadwell as he talks with authors and thought leaders about how to live a life full of meaning, contemplation and action.
Grit Nation
Overcoming Adversity - Brian Bogert
On today’s episode I have the honor and privilege of speaking with Brian Bogert founder of the Brian Bogert Companies.
Brian is a human behavior and performance coach, motivational speaker, and business strategist who has change the lives of thousands with his revolutionary coaching programs.
Brian starts today’s conversation by sharing with us the horrific accident that he suffered as a child and then will explain how he was determined not to let that tragic moment define who he would become as an adult.
Brian will then relate how he became a passionate public speaker who believes in helping growth-minded individuals become the best version of themselves by leveraging radical authenticity and awareness to create the intentional life they’ve been dreaming of but have struggled to create on their own.
Later we’ll unpack his revolutionary strategy of embracing pain to avoid suffering—and how this has helped individuals, groups and entire companies break beyond their normal to achieve the success in life and business that they’ve always wanted.
And we will finish our conversation when Brian shares his wisdom and insight so that you too can learn how to develop the grit and determination needed to persevere through the toughest of challenges.
This is an episode you truly do not want to miss.
Be sure to check out the show notes after the episode to learn more about Brian and his message.
The Show Notes
Brian Bogert Companies Website
https://brianbogert.com/
Union Home Plus helps union members save money when they buy, sell, or finance their home.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
I am Brian Bogert with the Brian Bogert companies and I have Grit.
Joe Cadwell:Joe Cadwell, the writer, producer and host of the show and on today's episode, I have the honor and privilege of speaking with Brian Gilbert, founder of the Bryan motor companies. Brian is a human behavior and performance coach, motivational speaker and business strategist who has changed the lives of 1000s. With his revolutionary coaching programs. Brian starts today's conversation by sharing with us the horrific accident that he suffered as a child that he will explain how he was determined not to let that tragic moment define who we become as an adult. Brian will then relate how we became a passionate public speaker who believes in helping growth minded individuals become the best version of themselves by leveraging radical authenticity and awareness to create the intentional life they've been dreaming of, but have struggled to create on their own. Later on pack is revolutionary strategy of embracing pain to avoid suffering, and how this has helped individuals groups and entire companies break beyond their normal to achieve the success in life and business that they've always wanted. And we'll finish our conversation when Brian shares his wisdom and insight so that you too can learn how to develop the grit and determination needed to persevere through the toughest of challenges. Be sure to check out the show notes after the episode to learn more about Brian and his message. And now onto the show. Brian Berger,
Brian Bogert:welcome to the show. I'm happy to be here, brother.
Joe Cadwell:Happy to have you on the show today, Brian, I've really become a big fan of yours since we first connected on LinkedIn. Not that long ago, I've done some background research on you looked at your YouTube videos, visited your website listened to some other podcasts. But man, you have got a great message for my listeners. And I'm hoping that you can start off by telling us a little bit about Brian Bovard is
Brian Bogert:absolutely so I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you and the listeners to close your eyes for just a second unless you're driving, of course, because that that will backfire. I'm sure. And I'll tell you when to reopen them. I want you to imagine going to a store. Having a successful shopping trip walking back out to your car, thinking you're heading on with your day. And you turn your head and see a truck barreling 40 miles an hour right at you with no time to react. Go ahead and open your eyes. That's where this portion of my story begins. My mom, my brother and I went to our local Walmart to get a one inch paint brush. And as we're headed to the car, I mean spending a couple of minutes with me, you can probably tell I've got an energy. And so it wasn't a surprise to her that I was the first one there, I wanted to get home and put that one in paint brush to use. But this is back in the days before we had key fobs. And so I got to the car first but I had to wait for him to physically catch up the key in the door and turn it so that we can get on with our way. And as we're standing there, a truck pulls up in front of the store, driver middle passenger get out and the passenger all the way to the right feels the truck moving backwards. So he did what any one of us would do when He screwed over to put his foot on brake. But instead he hit the gas combination of shock and force threw him up on the steering wheel up on the dashboard before you know it. He's catapulting 40 miles an hour across the parking lot right at us with no time to react. Now we were in an end spot so he goes over the median up over the tree in the median hits our car, knocks me over, runs over me diagonally tears my spleen leaves a tire tracks growing my stomach and continues on to completely severed my left arm for my body. So there, my mom and brother were having watched the entire thing. They now see me laying on the ground on 115 degree day in Phoenix, Arizona, and they look up and see my arm 10 feet away. Fortunately for me, my guardian angel also saw the whole thing happened. There was a nurse that walked out of the store right when this took place and she saw the literal life and limb scenario that was in front of her. She rushed immediately into action and came over and stopped the bleeding at the main wound to save my life and instructed some innocent bystanders to run inside grab a cooler, get my arm is within minutes to ultimately save my limb. Had she not done one or both of those things. Joe, I either wouldn't be here with you today, or I'd be here with you today with a cleaned up stump. That's just the reality. And I know that our listeners probably weren't expecting it to go through today, right? I'm sure I'm sure they weren't. I have a very unique story. And I've learned that over time. But what I've also realized over time is that we all have unique stories. What's important is that we pause and become aware of the lessons we can extract from those stories, and then become intentional of how do we apply them in our lives. And we all have the ability to do that. We also all have the ability to tap into the collective wisdom of other people's stories to shorten our own curve to learning. So I've got two primary stories I'll share with you to kind of set the stage and then we can take it wherever we want to. The first is I learned not to get stuck by what had happened to me, but instead get moved by what I could do with it. And the second I didn't realize until far later in life. You see it 789 1011 12 years old I was in the mix. I was the one having the treatments done to me the surgeries done to me I was gonna have to show up and do physical therapy but I was also being guided through the process. My parents However, we're not in a fog, the unceasing medical treatments years of physical therapy, and the idea of seeing their son grow up without the use of his left arm was a source of Potential suffering, they were very aware of all of it. And so they did what they needed to do, to embrace the pains necessary to ultimately strengthen and heal me to put in the work to make sure that I'm getting the treatments that I need to put in the work around physical therapy, and to make sure that they were in during all of those unceasing medical treatments for my benefit. So whether or not it was intentional, what they did was ingrained in me and philosophy and way of living, which was to embrace pain, to avoid suffering. And it's these concepts that I used to not only become this unique injury, but how my business partners and I scaled our last business to 15 million within the span of a decade. And now how is human behavior and performance coach, I flipped that on its head, to help individuals and businesses just like you, just like the people listening become more aware, more intentional, and who they already are their most authentic selves. You see, I believe that's when magic happens. And the door starts to crack to perspective, motivation and direction. And that's when people have a fighting chance of having joy, freedom and fulfillment enter into their world. And so that's why we are on a mission to impact a billion lives by 2045. Because we can reduce the level of suffering on this planet allow joy, freedom and fulfillment to enter into this world, allow people to stand on their own two feet, confident in who they are, knowing the world's going to accept them for who they are, that brings us together, and we're gonna have a lot more beautiful place for my kids and my grandkids to grow up. And
Joe Cadwell:that sounds like a fantastic story, Brian, from a very early age, you realize that the with every challenge comes an opportunity for personal growth and, and betterment. And you've taken your personal mission. And it sounds like you applied it from what I understand in the insurance world for a while until you had sort of a pivotal moment, not that long ago, when you decided to, to move out of insurance and become a human, as you call it a human performance coach, and what how did you actually come to that? Understanding that that's what you wanted to do with your life.
Brian Bogert:Yeah, so it starts a little while before the transition. You know, about seven years ago, we became parents, and the first six months flew by like that. And what I mean by that is, other than the first week I took off, I missed the first six months of my kid's life. I'm not proud of that, especially given the fact that my entire life I positioned and said that everything I was gonna do is for the benefit of my family. But providing for my family just financially is only part of the equation, I also have to have presence, I have to have leadership, I have to have love, I have to have connection. And, you know, money can provide all those things. And so it was the first time in my life that I didn't have the mentors, the wisdom on my own, or the people to be able to get the answers I needed. So I went out to hire my own first coach. And ultimately, within a month of working with him, he said, Oh, are you gonna be doing this? And I said, What are you talking about? He goes, You need to be coaching, and you need to be speaking professionally. And I was like, Yay, whatever. I'm paying a lot of money now to tell me how great I am. But tell me figure out these other things. I said I'd The last thing I need one more thing under the plane, he goes, Okay. Well, he trickled it every month for about nine months. And he was telling me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. And he ultimately was trying to show that I've always built people and built businesses. And I've always looked to provide perspective, motivation and direction to the world. And I've been on stages for the last 30 years just purely because I have a unique story. But it's also a success story. And I can tell it through the lens of allowing people to take those things away with them those lessons away. And so he's like, Brian, you're doing this. Ultimately, the universe sent me a big sign that said he was right. I jumped in with both feet. And I started coaching and speaking on a regular and consistent basis, I kept both my speaking and kept both my coaching, just because I was so heavily invested emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally and financially in the business that we built and scaled. And so I just kind of kept it it was what it was. Fast forward a little bit, five years about summer 2019, my wife and I went away. We had one of those weekends where spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, brother, like we were wanting, right, like, it's just, we were so connected. And as we're driving back to pick up our kids, after this phenomenal weekend, my wife leans over in the car and says, How would you feel if you didn't have to go the office on Monday morning? And I was I get chills every time I start to tell that part because it just puts me right back in that moment, I was completely overtaken by fear. And and I was like, that's a pretty loaded question. Why don't you tell me more. So she went on to explain I had some other health stuff that took place a few years prior, that I'm good now. But she ultimately said, I think you'd like this last health thing. Let fear enter into your world in a way that I've never seen you operate. She said, I think you've convinced yourself that we need the money. We need the status, we need to financial security we need to everything that's been built as a result of the business. And she said but I'm here to tell you we don't. She said I don't care if we live in a cardboard box on the corner. What I care about is that we have 100% you and she said whether you see it or not, you're dying a little bit inside everyday you live in insurance. And she said but I also know that over the last five years when you've been coaching and speaking that's what I really think you're meant to do. She said I think it barely scraping the surface your potential, nor do I think you have any impact on the world that you want. And so she said there's nobody on this planet I'd rather take a bet on you Why don't we double down on that bet, execute our buy, sell in the insurance business and go see what we can do. And I had to spend the next three months really sitting with that I had to unpack and understand my fear, I had to unpack and understand the financial model and what this was going to look like. And I got really conservative in doing the seven year cash flow projection, I had to really more deeply unpack my own shame, which I wasn't even aware of. I had until that that same year, really 2018 2019 is when I started to realize how much shame played a role in my life. And I'd work through all those things. And it was September of 2019. But I communicated with my CEO and my business partners, that I was gonna be executing my advice on leaving at the end of that fiscal year. And so, you know, I had to apply a little bit of regret minimization theory that Jeff Bezos popularized, and I had to take a step back and recognize that I could hit the easy button on the sure thing, because our business was growing double digits year over year and had been consistently for a decade. Or I could take a shot at seeing what I could actually do. And what we know with regret minimization theory is that what people regret most in their lives, is the things they didn't do, not the things they tried and failed. And so I take a chance and and that's ultimately what led me down that path.
Joe Cadwell:It seems like Brian, you have a lot of things there that are directly relatable to people that are in the construction trades, the majority of the listeners of Grit Northwest are obviously blue collar workers. And starting off with the physical challenge. I mean, obviously, you had a very, very significant setback as far as your physicality. And I know a lot of our members are obviously very physically capable, able to, to overcome the challenges of the construction world, but there are a lot of biases that are placed against some barriers. So yeah, that that they have to overcome. We have a lot of women in the trades. We have a lot of minorities in the trades and a lot of people that just there's these unseen barriers that they have to overcome. And you talk about, you know, the perseverance to push through those what type of advice when things get down? And when you're really, you know, feeling like or speculating, is this really the place for me? How do you have a view, dug deep to find a way to draw that inner strength to continue through and push on?
Brian Bogert:Yeah, so I think I have to start with helping understand, like, where do these external narratives come from? And why do they impact us? Because I think we have to start there before we can talk about how do we move through them? You know, I believe this is the case in the world. And it's only further exemplified in certain industries, right. And what I mean by this is, we are born as the most bright, burning, authentic light we will ever be. And then what happens, as we grow as parents, teachers, coaches, employers start layering on all these things about what the world is going to accept, right, you should do this, you should be that you shouldn't do this, you should be that you should chase this amount of money, you should define success. This way, you should chase the material things. And the older we get, what starts to happen is all these narratives just start getting layered on top of us until the fact that we actually believe them. And we buy into the external narrative, to the point that we also lose who we are in the process, we lose what we want in the process, we lose clarity on the things that are important to us in the process. Because we're conditioned to follow the path of external success based on the how the world defines it. Okay, so you talked about these biases, these biases, or external narratives, some biases can be true, purely by demographics and numbers, you start to see yes, there's patterns that develop. But the rule, right, that the rule doesn't have to be just because this is how our world is shaped that that is what it's always going to be. Right. So when you talk about these biases around, you know, females and minorities that are in the trades, often it's viewed as well. Okay, great. There's not a lot of females in the trades. Does that mean females can't exist in the trades? Or you have to be a young male to operate here? And the answer doesn't have to be yes to that. The other thing is, I think there's a lot of people who fall into certain roles, jobs or positions, because either they grew up that way, my family's always been in the trade. So of course, I've got to go down the trades, right? My dad, my grandpa, we've always been a blue collar family. So I have to be a blue collar worker. And not always is that true? Do you have to let your past or the patterns in your family or environment or community define who you are in your future. And I think that that's what typically allows people to feel stuck. stymied in their own efforts to fill their potential is when they chase the external narrative versus the internal one, which by the way, almost all of us have done, because that's how the world conditions us to operate. I talked about all these shoulds that the world I want to say one thing real quick and then and we can talk a little further on this talks about these shoulds should is inherently a shame based word. because it automatically implies that whatever you're doing isn't good enough. And so that's the other piece is if you're feeling stuck, how many times have you heard somebody tell you, you should be on the path that you're on. Or you should be grateful for the role that you have. Or you should be happy about the fact that you've got money and food on the table, right? If you're miserable every single day, throw the shoulds out the window, and start asking yourself, what could I or what would I do, if I wasn't buying into the external narratives, and I followed what I really want to do.
Joe Cadwell:And following what you really want to do for having that passion, having that desire that you want to fulfill can elevate you to the next higher level 100%. And so it's so important for us as as professional carpenters or trades people to recognize that that, you know, I have to develop myself on so many other levels, as opposed to just being able to do the work. And I think communication is a huge component of that, because communication is one of the foundation foundational stones of leadership. And I know you're a professional public speaker you before COVID, were on tour quite a bit. Since COVID. I think you've found kind of a niche market using telecommunication podcast, obviously. And how important is communication, in your opinion, to developing the person that you feel that you are meant to be?
Brian Bogert:Oh, I think communication is critical. I think it's one of the absolute foundational elements that's required to not only develop into who you are, but to also develop in a way that you can lead others. It's absolutely essential. You know, I and I say communication in that how you can articulate not just your thought, but how you can articulate your feelings. And I think internal communications where it has to start because if you're not clear inside, how can you ever be expected to be clear outside? You know, Brene, Brown has this, this beautiful saying, is that clear is kind, unclear is unkind. That's all about communication. That's all about where and how can I communicate effectively, that's about vulnerability. That's about authenticity, vulnerability, and authenticity are the glue that binds human connection. So if you actually want to be a solid leader, you want to advance in your trade. Right? You have to focus on understanding and being honest with yourself internally, and how you communicate, and then constantly finding ways to improve your level of communication. And I believe this is true for anybody in any trade in any role across the world. What often gets in our way are things that are not said or are misinterpreted, which is a lack of clear communication. You know, I work with individuals, often in a way that allows them to grab what they think is just out of their grasp 90% of the time, it's about communicating things that they haven't communicated prior. I have a client right now that his wife has commented in the last three months, that clear and distinct difference in his level of communication inside the house and with her around his fears, his scarcity, his issues, the blocks within the relationship. And it just so happens that it's also that lack of communication was holding him back in the business that he owns, which is in real estate development. Right. And he wasn't being clear with his team's about the way that he was operating 90% of what we've worked on over this period of time, although it's not truly this, it's the external manifestation of it is communication. At the end of the day, it's vocalizing what you're thinking and feeling in a way that you are clear to other people. So they understand your perspective, and can better communicate back with you there's so that you can find the common middle ground and move forward. I think communication is critical.
Joe Cadwell:I think you nailed it. And I think my own personal journey with communication started about eight years ago, in our organization, which really takes a lot of emphasis to educate our members and takes a lot of pride in developing leadership. And it was when I went to the journeymen leadership program down in Las Vegas, which is a four year four day program where they impart upon you the history of our organization and and again, work on your own personal communication styles. And then that light bulb went off for me at that time, because obviously we're communicating from from the very early age, when we're just starting to cry, we want something to then, you know, having these negotiations between our childhood friends and arguing over toys or who did what and how they did. And then the communication though, is brought upon in school, we learn how to read, we learn how to write, but we really don't put a lot of emphasis on clear communication and understanding that yeah, we have we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. And that communication, there's so much that is just built into the listening and understanding how, what other people are saying not just hearing them, but actually understanding what they're saying.
Brian Bogert:Yeah, and I think there's a really important distinction to that I want to clarify on you know, I think what we realize and know in today's world, but again, the external narrative is told us that only one can be accepted is that we have intellectual and emotional narratives. Right? We have thoughts, and we have emotions, and very rarely do we, as individuals connect those two. And so communication is also not just about being able to vocalize and articulate what are we thinking, but what are we feeling because it's often those triggers and that emotional side that doesn't get translated, which keeps people frustrated, stuck, fearful scares, shamed all of the above those emotions that we all somewhat understand, the world has told us, let's just shove that stuff down, show up and put a smile on our face, and let's go to business. But the reality of it is, is there's always something that's there, I'll own one, this just happened literally this morning. I have an associate that I work with. She's young, she hasn't had a whole lot of jobs, there's been interactions, but she worked in very toxic environments prior, there was almost abuse from her boss in certain ways in the language and how they communicated, which she's internalized. Right, and she carries it with her. Now, we had an interaction over the weekend, she texted me on something, and I responded back, not thinking much more beyond it. But it triggered her. And I didn't realize that it triggered her until we had our Monday morning meeting yesterday. And I started to see that something was off. So I started to probe a little bit and ask questions, she started to pull back. I had to really think through this last night, because if she's not able to communicate it, how can I lead down a path so that I can give her the permission in the space to communicate or find the words to figure out what it is. So I sat with it. And I thought about I was like, oh, maybe my text triggered her shame and her toxicity from her prior for her prior work relationship. So I talked her about it today, I was just on a zoom call with her for 45 minutes, because I care about her deeply. And I want her to understand like that sometimes we miss communicate, particularly in written form. And it's easy to like put narratives emotionally and intellectually around comments that might not have any intent that was aligned with that. But it was also miss received. Because if we rely on text, it's only a small portion of how we communicate. And so I had a conversation with her and unpack this. And I led with that whole piece through 45 minutes, that was exactly the case, she actually had told me she's like I was triggered, I didn't have the words to say, and I didn't know if I'd be able to communicate that to you. And as a result of my own conditioning, I was actually looking for reasons to potentially bail on this role, even though I really, really want it.
Joe Cadwell:And that's something that is so easily like you say misinterpreted in a text in an email in written form, because as we know, so much communication is not the words coming out of your mouth, but the your facial expressions, your mannerisms, your body positioning, so much of communication is not actually what's coming out. And to steal a quote from Maya, Maya Angelou, you know, people don't necessarily remember what you say they remember how you make them feel. That's right. And that is a, it's really hard to express feeling via text.
Brian Bogert:That's right. Well, and here's the thing, 7% of our communication is in the words that we choose 38% of our communication is in the tone and the cadence of our delivery. 55% of our communication is in our nonverbal cues. So if you're on the phone, you're only getting 45% of communication. If you're in text or an email, you're getting 7% of communication. If we're here, right now, we're getting as close to 100 as we can get in a virtual world, because I can see you I can see your micro expressions, I can see your body language, but I'm still only seeing a portion of it. But 55% of our communication is on our nonverbal cues. So communication is unbelievably important. But the medium with which we communicate, depending on the type of communication is equally, if not more important.
Joe Cadwell:So understanding how important communication is Brian, understanding that we can get stuck in ruts occasionally, professionally, personally, relationship wise, where would someone turn to try to get out of these ruts? And who would they they interact with in order to help them along to get to the next level?
Brian Bogert:Yeah, so I think there's a variety of answers to that. I'll keep it really simple. I'm a big believer that the first person to turn to to get yourself out of anything is yourself. And I know that sounds a little bit like coy when I answered that, but I think there's a lot of people who are looking to be saved. There's a lot of people that are looking for a hero they're looking for, right what what, who can help them get out of what they're doing. And I think a lot of people haven't done the own their own internal work strong enough to have the foundation to really be able to stand up on their own two feet. So I always tell people to start with themselves outside of that. Because internally what we know is that there's only so much awareness we can gain, right? So we're going to have internal and external self awareness. So when you start with yourself, it's to ask yourself the questions like, you know, why am I stuck? What am I feeling right now? What is the root of it? Like really give yourself the path to understand maybe why you feel stuck, and then only ask why questions to a point and shift it to a what question Which is okay, now that I have this understanding of myself and the situation I'm in, what can I do about it on a future focus and perspective, objective perspective? What are the conversations I can have? What are the actions I can take? Right? What are the ways I can kind of think through my emotions, but I don't get triggered on those same ways. Once you've gone through that, or if you don't know how to do that, you can still look outside. I'm still a big believer, we have to do that internal work. And you'll hear me say that always. But if you have no idea where to start, I would say look for people that you trust in your life. Look, for a mentor, look for a guide, look for a friend, look for a coach, I say, Coach last, because I think that 90% of people aren't ready for a coach, start with all the free options First, put in the work and figure out what you can do. But you know, a spouse can be a really good sounding board to help you see blind spots, you know, maybe they see very clearly why you're stuck, and you don't have clarity on it. A mentor, someone who's maybe walked your path before might have very relevant experience, not only in the situation, you've been in the way you're feeling the way that you can understand. And so they can typically provide advice, or perspective on the ways to navigate through it. You know, even kids, depending on their ages, and the relationship you have can be folks to help you get unstuck, right, my son and my daughter, even though they're only seven, and almost six, have given me moments of clarity, by me just putting myself in a position that I can learn from anybody. And so as long as we can kind of trust and surrender to the fact that we can learn, and we can seek advice from anyone in our life, then it's really feeling alone, that keeps us stuck more than anything. And the more we can kind of make those connections, to be have a level of trust and vulnerability to be able to grow and know that you're trusted. And whatever you share is being received objectively and non judgmentally, then you can move forward productively, I still think the internal work needs to be done. But there's a lot of people who can guide you.
Joe Cadwell:So turn inward First, look for a solid mentor and a mentor. mentorships are huge in the apprenticeship program. And we always encourage people to find a mentor that that you get along with that, that you respect that communicates well with you. And that truly cares about your forward progression through the program and into the into the trades. And that's a huge part. And then also, as you said, you can turn externally, and I know the Brian booger companies, especially on YouTube have burger bullets. And I was hoping you could tell us a little bit about Bogot's bullets.
Brian Bogert:Yeah, so bogus bullets is something that we started early. When the company started. And it went consistently. I did a video a week for about a year. And we started doing them again about a year ago. So we're on that same weekly cadence we stopped for a few years because people who didn't know me liked the content. Like the videos got stuff from it, people who had seen me speak live or who knew me, always said, Brian, it's just not the same, right. And so I've always committed to myself that even if I'm going to potentially have a positive impact in somebody's life, if it's not being delivered 100% authentic by me, then I would rather have no impact than in authentic impact. And so I pause doing it for a while, what bogans bullets is a three to five minute topical video every single week, where we take an abstract and esoteric thought process around a topic, just to provide a different way for people to think or feel about those types of things that are not scripted, that are on the fly, I get inspiration, I turn the camera on, I talk for three to five minutes, and then I send it off to my content team. And I typically don't watch them again after they're out. So that's where I'm at with it. It's just like a free flowing thought. But we have you know, a number of subscribers who love that every single week, they you know, we put it out on social media. And we also have a text list that we send it out in bulk. So people just have the direct link on YouTube. And that's just been a really fun passion project. You know, when I when I told you earlier that we're going to be impacting a billion lives and by 2045 I'm very aware that 99.99999999999% will never pay us $1 And I'm very okay with that. And so over its bullets is an example of that, because we put out a lot of free content just simply to provide help, perspective, motivation direction and something to help elevate and empower people to stand on their own two feet and know that they're not alone. And so that's what it is. And I'm happy that you were able to get in there but yeah, I don't know if you watched any of those early episodes, you'll see the energy and deliveries totally different.
Joe Cadwell:Yeah, you have some great ones on strength and courage and how you share that. How do I make an impact is a you know, one that I watched I thought it was especially good what's holding you back? And then he had one on marriage hacks. And you talked about it early on, you know, the first six months of your child's life you weren't there. And finding that work life balance is was especially difficult for you it sounds like as can be for so many of our carpenters and trades people because the work tends to dictate, you know, when and where we go, especially myself as a commercial diver. If I waited for work to find food come close to my home I had to starve to death. way early on, so I chase the work for a good 75 80% of my my career, I never did have children. So I didn't miss that element of family life. And I had a very patient understanding wife, I still do. But yeah, that balance is very difficult for a lot of people to strike. And you are someone that said, I cannot continue down that road, and you had the ability to change your sort of destiny in regards to that. I encourage so many of the listeners right now to really evaluate what is important to you and keeping those things in balance. And I think, having done some research with you, Brian, you had said you did not want to be one of those people that at age 40 After having a divorce and losing everything that it you know, it wasn't worth it, that you had to strike that work life balance early on. And I think you've done a pretty, pretty good job.
Brian Bogert:That's true. I'll tell you though, the reason I was stuck is because I viewed it as work life balance. And balance I don't believe exists, especially in today's world with, you know, us being connected to devices constantly balanced doesn't exist in balance implies that you're giving equal parts to equal things in terms of priority. And sometimes that's just not the case, particularly if you're a sole provider for a family, right, like work is inherently going to just automatically put you out of balance, because even if all you do is work a 40 hour work week, which many of us work way more than that. But even if that's all you do is work 40 hours, you're already out of balance in terms of the amount of time you spend with your family versus the amount of time you're working. And, you know, for me, my family is hands down one first always they are my first priority and up into up to an including if they aren't good, I will walk away from this mission to impact a billion lives in a heartbeat. Because if they're not good, that nothing else matters. But I viewed it as work life balance, which is what set me up for feeling like I couldn't actually accomplish what I wanted. I started to evolve my philosophy on this actually before I hired my coach. But I started to evolve from this idea of work life balance to work life integration. I believe that if we're really clear on who we are, we're really clear on the things that are most important to us. And we walk through a process to bring the unconscious to the conscious, the unaware of the aware so that we can be intentional with everything in our life, that we can actually systematically build our life in alignment around the things that are important for us. And it can, it can become self regulating over time. Right. So when you integrate, that's also to suggest there might be a day that I work a 16 hour day, and I get 30 minutes with my kids right before bed. But on the flip side, the following day, I might work three hours, and be able to take them out on a Jeep ride or mountain biking or whatever, because that is what it is. Not everybody has that kind of flexibility. But if you set intention around what's important to you, and you build your life of alignment, then it's not about the amount of time it's about the quality of time and how you use the time that you have. That becomes more important. So there are many weeks that I get an hour to 90 minutes a day with my family, which is my my dinner and bedtime routine with them every day. But most weekends, we get almost the entire weekend. And when I'm at home, I'm at home. When I'm with my kids, I'm with my kids, when I'm with my wife, I'm with my wife. And so it's about intentional integration. But it's also about learning how to be where your feet are. It's about learning how to be present. And the reason I say Be Where Your Feet Are, I learned that from my first coach. I've stolen it from him. But it's a very easy self regulating thing. You can look down literally. Yep. Okay, I'm sitting here right now with Joe on the on the grit podcast. And I'm here to pour my soul into the listeners in a way to hopefully have impact. Right, I don't have my phone with me, I'm not talking to my wife and my kids. Now if one of my kids walked in right now, we didn't have the conversation, because they would walk in only if they needed something, which would tell me Joe, I have to go. But that's because I've put in the work to understand the hierarchy of importance in my life. And I also know how it can regulate over time, because I've done it now consistently for a number of years. So that's the first thing I would say is let's just get the idea of balance out of our minds, because all it does is make us feel like we're failing. Focus on intentional integration. But you got to put in the work to have clarity on those things before you can do that.
Joe Cadwell:Does sound like you have to have a lot of personal accountability, responsibility to gain that, that agency of your life. And it sounds like you're doing a really great job of it and inspiring other people to do the same. Brian Bogart, what's your definition of success,
Brian Bogert:joy, freedom and fulfillment. But that can only be accomplished if you have absolute clarity on who you are. And so you know, Steve Sims, I think on his podcast that shared a quote me that I'd never heard and it was this idea and I may butcher it, but something along the lines of the idea of Hell is meeting the person that you could have been. And you know, what I look at is that there's another quote that I play with often and it's Who were you before the world told you who to be? And so when I think about joy, freedom and fulfillment, it's about focusing on the who who I am what's important to me, right? We all chase the what what house what car what amount of money what job, what role right all these things based on those external areas that we talked about earlier. And most of the time, when that happens, people wake up one day, and they're miserable, because they realize they've lost who they are. And so they feel stuck. They feel miserable. And so one of the big things that we focus on is helping people realign with who, before what, which requires shedding a lot of those layers that we also talked about earlier, when we talk about who before what when we get really clear and centered on who we are, then the what's in our life, become a manifestation of the who, and they're that much more powerful.
Joe Cadwell:Brian Bogart, this has been a fantastic conversation, where can people go to find out more about you and your message?
Brian Bogert:Yeah, so Brian Booker comm is a great place, it's got a lot of our social handles integrated in there at Burger Brian on all of them, our YouTube channel, burgers, bullets, all that stuff. And a lot of the articles that we've had published in Forbes and other places are also there. And again, free and around the idea of again, 99.999% will never pay us $1, I do have a free resource for anybody listening. If you go to No Limits prelude.com It's a very succinct downloadable form of a lot of our coaching philosophies to help you start on your own intrinsic journey. Ask yourself some of those right questions. And so whether you know who you are, you have no idea who you are, you're somewhere in between, this will be a valuable resource for you. And by the way, for many of you, it'll be all you need from us. And so if that's the case, take it and run and all I ask is that you pay it forward and make sure that you're helping others find who they are.
Joe Cadwell:That's fantastic. Thank you so much for taking your time to be on the show. I'll make sure and add all that to the show notes. Brian, have a great day. Joe, thank you. I guess day has been Brian Bovard from the Brian Bolgar companies. Find out more about Brian and his message, be sure to check out the show notes on your smart device or by visiting his website at Brian bogart.com. Well, that wraps up this episode of Grit Northwest. If you know someone you think might benefit from this episode, please be sure to share it with them. If you haven't already joined the nation. What are you waiting for? Look for the link in the show notes or by visiting the website. You'll be eligible to win grits swag and an exclusive backstage access pass to get an even more in depth look into the shows making and content. All this and more when you join the grid nation. Thanks again for listening and until next time, this is Joe Cadwell reminding you to work safe, work smart and stay union strong
