Never Fly Solo - Waldo "Wingman" Waldman

Welcome to Grit Nation,

I’m Joe Cadwell the host of the show and on today’s episode I have the pleasure of speaking with Waldo Waldman, a former Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, who is now a highly sought after motivational speaker and executive coach. He is also the author of The New York Times best seeking book, Never Fly Solo.

Known to the tens of thousands of people who have attended his leadership seminars as the Wingman, Waldo’s unique and powerful presentation style was honed razor sharp during his time as an F-16 fighter pilot.

We’ll open today’s conversation by learning the dynamics of teamwork, and why it is so important to have people that you can count on 

to help get through the tough jobs, whether that’s flying fighter jets in combat, closing big business deals or racing to complete a construction project on time. 

Next we’ll hear how a close call while scuba diving nearly ended Waldo’s career after triggering a phobia of confined spaces that he didn’t even know he had. 

We’ll then learn what steps he took to master his fear so he could continue to follow his passion for flying jets.

Next, we’ll discuss the importance of cultivating strong, long lasting relationships built on mutual trust and respect, so that you always have wingmen by your side when life gets turbulent.

 And we’ll wrap up our conversation as we discuss Waldo’s transition from the military to professional coach and speaker and why he is so passionate about helping others reach their fullest potential.

The Show Notes

Waldo Waldman's Website
https://yourwingman.com

Free audio copy of Never Fly Solo
https://ace.yourwingman.com/nfs/

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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Joe Cadwell  0:09  
Welcome to Grit Nation. I'm Joe Cadwell, the host of the show, and on today's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Waldo Waldman, a former Air Force lieutenant colonel who is now a highly sought after motivational speaker and executive coach. He's also the author of The New York Times best selling book never fly solo, known to 10s of 1000s of people who have attended his leadership seminars as the wingman. While those unique and powerful presentation style was honed razor sharp during his time as an F 16 fighter pilot will open today's conversation by learning the dynamics of teamwork, and why it's so important to have people that you can count on to help get through the tough jobs, whether that's flying fighter jets in combat, closing big business deals, or racing to complete a construction project on time. Next, we'll hear how a close call while scuba diving nearly ended. Waldos career after triggering a phobia of confined spaces that he didn't even know he had, will then learn what steps he took to master his fear so he could continue to follow his passion for flying jets will then discuss the importance of cultivating strong, long lasting relationships built on mutual trust and respect. So that you always have wingman by your side when life gets turbulent. And we'll wrap up our conversation as we discussed Waldos transition from the military to professional coach and speaker and why you're so passionate about helping others reach their fullest potential. After the episode be sure to check out the show notes for more information about Waldo wingman Waldman, and how you can get a free copy of his best selling book. Never fly solo. And now on to the show. Retired Lieutenant Colonel Waldo Waldman, welcome to Grit Nation.

Waldo Waldman  1:56  
Great to be here, Joe.

Joe Cadwell  1:58  
Well, thank you so much for taking your time Waldo to be on my show today, I'm really excited to to have you on to hear your message. I know my listeners are just gonna get a kick out of what you have to say. But before we get into what you have to say, Can you give us a brief narrative of who you are and where you came from, and why you do what you do.

Waldo Waldman  2:18  
So, and thanks for being on the, you know, bringing me on here, you've had some of my buddies on in the past D.J Vanas is a good friend of mine, super human being, and I love how you're you, you know, leverage your relationships to bring on interesting guests. So I'm currently a leadership speaker and executive coach, I work mostly with sales organizations all across the industries, but I focus a lot on the construction and trades industry, you know, manufacturing, folks where there's supply chain safety, logistics, a lot of variables that go into executing a mission, and been doing this for almost 20 years. My background is as a combat decorated fighter pilot, I've flown in Iraq and Serbia 65 combat missions. But then when I left that, after getting shut out a couple shot at a couple of times, and some garden spots, I went to business school, and then was in sales on the technical side software, technical applications distributed learning. And then I went into merger and acquisition consulting, high high end m&a, and then we my way into speaking and so that's kind of a big broad brushstroke of what I do. I wrote a New York Times bestseller called never fly solo, which is about collaboration and trust, and realizing that survivors survive on their own, but you win together.

Joe Cadwell  3:45  
That's fantastic. And I understand you've also been inducted into the Hall of Fame for keynote speakers.

Waldo Waldman  3:51  
I got inducted after 10 years, which is one of the fastest in the industry and the National Speakers Association, which is a byproduct of a lot of folks helping me and my relentless pursuit of perfection, you know, you're only as good as your last speech. So I'm always getting better. And but I've always been humbled, because there's a lot of great coaches and speakers and leaders out there.

Joe Cadwell  4:14  
There are a lot of great coaches and speakers out there but I tell you, I don't know if it's because I have a prior military background and you have the vernacular the speech patterns of maybe something that I am closely aligned with but your style and an ability to convey information is really tight and I really appreciate it and I've really enjoyed watching your videos and reading your you know, on your on your website, and the book. Never fly solo fantastic book. And how did you come about writing that book and what does it mean to never fly solo Waldo?

Waldo Waldman  4:49  
So when you look at the concept of grit, you kind of focus on your ability to kind of stay resilient stay in the aircraft as I always say not quit, you know, be willing to have your knees You skinned and suffer through a little bit of the personal development growth that's necessary to evolve in life and business or wherever you're in. I learned a lot of that in the military. In particular, you know, flying F 16 isn't easy. It's very, very competitive, you need thick skin, you need to be ever relentless pursuit of, of perfection and growth, because the technologies constantly change, got high standards, deployments, a lot of fear, you know, flying in combat is a very, very scary thing. And any veteran would understand that, but when I look back on my success, and the things that have allowed me to evolve, not just as a fighter pilot, but as a speaker, as a business person, as a father and husband, it's that I've always had great men and women in my life, who I can go to for help. Who had my back, who pushed me who challenged me, who saw the best in me, who gave me the feedback that I may not have wanted to hear, but needed to hear. And so never fly solo is about understanding the power of pairing up the power of being able to seek others who can lift you up through the trajectory of success. And also, that it's our incumbent responsibility as successful people, as great Americans as human beings on this crazy planet, to give our wings away, to find the unsuspected person with a flame out engine or having a missile launch and say, you know, what part of my responsibility in life is to be their wing man or their wing, ma'am, you know, and to seek out others and always be willing to serve and lift and encouraging coach and sometimes kick some butt. Like, I like having folks kick my ass a little bit to push me in the right direction, who see more potential in me. And so there's a lot of factors that we could continue to talk about being that wing man, a trusted partner, and it really isn't just about having a buddy, it's about having a confidant and somebody who kicks your butt. And who cares enough about you to possibly piss you off to help you grow?

Joe Cadwell  7:15  
Yeah, for sure. There's definitely a lot to unpack there. And again, you know, to be a f 16 fighter pilot having flown 65 combat missions, yeah, it doesn't, that sort of environment doesn't really suffer fools very easily. And you don't make it to that level without really having a determination, dedication and a good team to work with. Now you had addressed Waldo you had addressed fear as being something that needs to be overcome. And I'm sure every time you got into the cockpit to go out and fly these combat missions, there was a certain level of fear honestly, if without it, you would, you would probably not last very long that fear kept you on edge and kept you focused. How do you how do you deal with fear and I know personally, having done a little bit of research on you, you've had two major fear based issues, one being something to do with claustrophobia, and the other one dealing with heights, which both of them seem very counter intuitive to me, for someone who's going to strap himself into, you know, a tight cockpit, and then, you know, head up into the, into the outer atmosphere, it just seems a bit odd. So how do you handle these these fearful challenges?

Waldo Waldman  8:21  
Fear is a very human condition. If you don't have a little bit of fear what you're doing, I don't care if it's a sales call, or being a carpenter working on a new project, a new apprentice, right, asking for a promotion. Getting up to bat and so you look at fear is something that says, Okay, there's something to be lost here. Most of the time, that loss is ego, right? Embarrassment in front of your friends. Other times, it's real authentic fear of dying of being injured of being in in combat, you know, hey, people are trying to kill you, your fear meter is going to be pegged. And so I'm going to kind of give a couple of ways that I think we can overcome fear. And I talked about this in my coaching for leaders and teams, and also in my keynotes, but one of the most important things you could do in fear is number one, to just make sure that you're prepared for your contingencies. You know, attitude is important. We'll talk about that for a second. But when I flew in, and I'm showing for those that are listening at F 16, you know, $30 million $40 million jet with all these weapons systems and complicated, you know, controls and a lot of tactical knowledge and training that goes into flying that you've got to be prepared, you know, wingman, never wing it. If you want to develop grit and trust in yourself. You got to put in the sweat equity, open the books, get the coaching and training, get your ass in the cockpit and Practice, right? If it's hitting the softball, delivering a sales call, learning new tools and techniques, estimating software, whatever it whatever it is, you've got to leverage your tools and technologies and get the coaching necessary so that you're confident in your skills and competence builds trust, helps you deal with engine failures and missile launches. And all that. So put in the work, you can't philosophize your way out of executing a mission and fear more often than not as people aren't prepared. You wouldn't be just like going down. Scuba diving, right. And I'll share my story about how I almost died scuba diving. And it's because I wasn't prepared. It developed. I wasn't afraid enough. I didn't put in the time to prepare and it almost cost me my life.

Joe Cadwell  10:49  
So you are already in the military at that time, Waldo, when that was three years into

Waldo Waldman  10:53  
my 11 year flying career. And I'll share this in a minute, you know, I've had that scuba diving incident and almost died. So the other fear, the way to overcome fear is you've got to know what it is you're fighting for. You have to know what it is that at the end of the day, when you come back from that combat mission or take that leap of faith, make the sales call or or ask for the promotion, or whatever it is, you've got to know what it is that you're fighting for. And so I'll draw an analogy here. So I was afraid of heights really, really, really bad. In order to graduate the Air Force Academy and become a pilot. Eventually, you had to jump off a 33 feet high diving board and meters. Now a big jumping Navy guy like you Joe may not seem like a big deal, but most people would panic, right? If you're afraid of heights, 33 feet, pretty freakin i. So I'm at the edge of that diving board freaking out. And I had to tap into my passion. What What was it that I'm fighting for my dream of being a pilot, graduating the academy, stepping out of my comfort zone, my future depended on jumping off that diving board. And you've got to know what's in that water. You've got to know what's on the opposite side of that fear. And tapping into your imperative, your objective, your compelling goal and keeping that front and center I want to lose 20 pounds, I want to be a bodybuilder I want to get married, I want to be the top producing salesperson, I want to run my own contracting company. Whatever that is, you better be in tune to that. And if not, you may not develop the courage to overcome that fear. So for example, I'm going to give a quick analogy. If you're on the edge of that diving board and you're in let's say, you're freaking out, you're not going to jump but if you're a parent, and your children are in the water screaming mommy, daddy help me. Are you a parent, yo,

Joe Cadwell  12:47  
I am not. You're not

Waldo Waldman  12:49  
okay. But I have a feeling you have somebody that you do love tremendously, for sure. You know, if that person or dog or whatever is in that water your nine times 99% of the time you're going to likely jump because you love that person and love Trump's fear and love his service and action. So if you tap into what it is that you love your children or whatever it is, you'll step out of your comfort zone and make that leap of faith. Let me give you another analogy in combat. So for me, when I was having a panic attack at 30,000 feet over Iraq dealing with my fear, I look out my cockpit and realize that there was other folks flying with me who needed me to stay present, who needed me to take them to the forward edge of the battle area to help them roll in on the target. I led combat missions in Iraq, you know, so I had people dependent on me, yes, I was crapping my pants, afraid of having a panic attack and getting shot down. But as soon as I as soon as I distracted myself from myself, and focused on who needed me. Then I became courageous and in the zone and present in what I was doing, and when you're present helping people, when you're serving people, when you distract yourself from your ego, and what you need in your cheesy, ego driven fears, and focus on who you're serving, you'll find you can be present, just like on this call, right? I've got to tap in to help and you and your listeners, right? So I've got to go deep. And if I'm just if I'm distracted with how I'm looking on this camera, how sondland on the thing, am I going to say the right thing that's going to prevent me from being present. So prepare, focus on what you love. Be willing to help out help out others distract yourself from yourself and then finally know that it's sometimes your responsibility to kick ass to go out there and take some risks because others are depending on you. Focus on

Joe Cadwell  14:53  
the why and not the What the How this is why I'm doing it have that clearly defined agenda. And for anyone who's listening In my wife included if she happens to listen to this episode, honey, if you were the one in the water, absolutely, I would be jumping off that bridge to save you. So there you go. So you have you have addressed fear. And again, you had mentioned DJ vantus. And DJ was on the show a few episodes back and he talked about, you know, Native American tradition and how they would face their fear head on counting coup, touching your opponent cutting your enemy with acoustic showing that yeah, you know, I'm fearful of you, but I am addressing my fear and I'm taking away your power from that. And by being prepared being ready for combat, and then that's how they addressed it. Now you found yourself three years in the military career, you were obviously physically fit, you were obviously mentally. On top of your game, you're flying F 16. But you found yourself in a recreational scuba diving course somewhere and you found yourself down around again, 33 feet, and something went sideways and that fear got ahold of you and it created panic underwater. And as someone who has taught recreational diving for over 30 years, I'll be honest with you, Waldo, I have seen that in people's faces and reactions before and it can only be I can imagine horrifying having grown up in the water having been near drowned a number of times. I know what it's like myself, but how did you react? And what did you learn from that experience? And why did it affect you so greatly?

Waldo Waldman  16:22  
So? Yeah, you know, I never had an issue with claustrophobia. I was flying as an instructor pilot for three and a half years and then went to the Caribbean. And went through a crash course that 15 minutes in the pool, right? With that young kid who probably had something to drink the night before was really paying attention. So I didn't get really good training. And I thought I could wing it right. And I jumped into the water, he pushed me into the water level you you first and then literally pushed my head down. Joe did like every rule that you can make literally push my data, you can see I was a little bit uncomfortable. And so I enter the water. I'm already my heart's racing. I'm trying I'm not using proper technique, right, I'm using my arms instead of my legs. I'm not relaxed. I'm not just settled in, right. And so I'm using a proper technique, realizing that I wished I had a better mission briefing, right wishing I had gone through a better training. And so boom, right then and there, not in my comfort zone, not trained, not confident in my skills and the competence in my skills started to bring up fear, anxiety, the lactic acid built up in my arms and body because I was using my hands and was so tired. Suddenly, my body freezes. I can't move I'm aching from head to toe with all the lactic acid. And then my mask has a malfunction or inadvertently separates and I inhale a whole lung full of saltwater, right? You taking the regulator away and inhaling. So I'm choking into my regulator, 35 feet out of the water, freaking out wondering if I'm going to suck more water in. And then I begin to see stars as they start to hyperventilate, and I'm having the worst panic attack out of that. I didn't know what one was up until that moment, right? No time that district could come close to that down like I'm gonna die. I'm freaking out. Absolutely the worst horrific experience of my life. How did you get to the surface? So he brought me up, you know, I was only 35 feet or so down. So I slowly as low as I could went down, went up, you know, and tried to, you know, pop my years or whatever, but it wasn't really that bad. So I went back up, they stayed in the water. I could still see the guy swimming ahead of me, head of me. And I'm trying to keep up with this guy. And he's not. He's not with me. See the importance of a wing man that right?

Joe Cadwell  18:46  
That's a horrible experience for him. No,

Waldo Waldman  18:49  
it was terrible. And you get it. 100% Joe so I got out of the water. So long story short, a few days later, I'm back in the jet flying a training mission and terrible weather. thunderstorms and lightning couldn't see the sun couldn't see the ground. I'm in what's called the mushroom soup, right? You can't see anything and I start to have the same panic attack that I had a few days prior. For some reason I'm I start freaking out. I thought something was wrong with my oxygen. As I became hypoxic. There wasn't anything wrong with the oxygen. There was obviously something wrong with me my head, and I had the same panic attack realized I had claustrophobia. I'm like, I gotta get the heck out of this plane now. And so that was the worst experience of my life flying another 45 minutes on the north, from three, four up to the northeast. And for the next eight of my 11 years of flying, I had to deal with this phobia this fear and panic that threatened to paralyze by ability to do what I love more than anything else, which was to fly jets but I had to face it and stay in the cockpit and and

Joe Cadwell  19:54  
get back on the horse so to speak. Yeah, get

Waldo Waldman  19:57  
back on the horse get back into jet shoes to fly I face my fears get used to it this what resilience is all about, folks, it's not quitting. It's not necessarily meditating or listening to music or finding ways to relax, etc. It's its resilience is truly built. When you're facing your fears, and you're in the crucible, stinging feeling the pain and sting of fear and getting the calluses on your hands and suffering through that. And so, eight years, couple 1000 hours of flight hours, I learned to control that fear, to stay present focus on my team to enjoy the journey. And I don't want that I only was able to do that by just constantly getting in that plane. And really, really focusing on why I was doing what I was doing, and really training myself, you know, I studied more about anxieties and phobias. And realize that it was a very, very, very psychological thing that I can control.

Joe Cadwell  20:59  
And was this something you could turn I understand, you know, in such an elite group of of individuals as you were in, it would be something I think that might be even career jeopardizing. If you were to have reached out at that point to someone that may have said, Hey, I don't think Waldo has, you know, as the comfortability in the cockpit anymore, so you weren't actually able at this point to reach out to anyone else. And this is something you've internalized to do.

Waldo Waldman  21:25  
Yeah, it's a great question, John, I appreciate you saying that. This is extremely important listeners, because I couldn't go to my bowtie buddies in the military and say, Hey, guys, by the way, I will find this mission together. And I'm kind of freaking out here. And I'm having this panic attack, though. And the reason why I didn't feel I needed to was that I was still able to perform. I was still able to teach, I was still able to do very well, I got a plaque on my wall flight leader the quarter. Right, the number one pilot folks wanted to go to combat with instructor pilot of the year number one of three engineer, instructor pilots in San Antonio, Texas, at Randolph Air Force Base. Did they know I was going through my fears and had this stuff no, just like your customers, your co workers, your family members, your your your your friends may not know your fears, as long as you're able to work through them and perform through them. That is the embodiment of execution and courage. This is important, you can have fear you can shitting your pants before you go fly. But are you doing the job? Are you reliable? Are you dependable? Are you knowing when to quit, when the fear gets so great that you can perform and I had every responsibility Joe, to tell my peers, my wingman that, hey, I'm a safety factor, I should not be flying, I need to quit, because I can't get the job done. And if that's the case, then you owe it to yourself and your team and your family not to put yourself in a jeopardizing situation. And this is how suicide happens. People feel they need to quote unquote, fly every mission, do every deed face every fear constant. And that's not the case it shouldn't be, then there's a lot more to this because it's always about what you're fighting for. You know, if you're going to quit on your family members and your love and your children or whatever, then that may be you know, it's hard. Some people that's when shame comes in when you quit when you know you shouldn't have and you had it in you to do it. So I would have had to tell those guys, Joe, but I was able to stick through it and became very good. I became better because of my fear. Because I was so aware and so prepared. And so giving in my service, that as soon as I went into myself, that's when the crap hit the fan and I'd be fearful. So hope hopefully you're resonating with that. But here's the other thing and it's in one of my chapters on my book, which I'm gonna give everybody the audio book as a gift is that when I was flying back on a training mission ferrying F six teens, from Saudi Arabia, to Spain and then Spain to the US. I ferry these non combat mission planes to Spain pretty easily a lot a lot of land there yet to fly with a Mediterranean. I was able to do that seminar, eight hour mission. But guess what, Yo and you know where I'm going with this. Coming from Spain to the US. There's something called the Atlantic. And I didn't get to sleep I freaked out. I'm gonna kill myself. If I fly this plane. What am I doing? Why did I volunteer to fly on? I was so courageous doing all these combat missions for seven hours. Why can I just fly a training mission ferrying aircraft home

Joe Cadwell  24:45  
alone and by yourself crossing the Atlantic seven, eight hours in that cockpit by yourself?

Waldo Waldman  24:51  
No distractions, no combat to distract me like combat was for me a distraction from my fear of FOSS phobia. So long story short, folks. I quit, I turned myself in, so to speak, I avoided the mission. And I told my commander I couldn't fly because I didn't sleep the night before. I had a terrible headache, I would have been a safety factor. I didn't say I had claustrophobia. But the fact was my fears overdid my passions. And I had to quit with honor, because it would have been a safety factor of myself and my team. If it was combat. People needed me. My job and responsibility was to stay in that plane, You're darn right, I wouldn't quit, which is how I got through all those others. So there's a time to quit with honor. There's a time to fly with honor and do your job. hope people are resonating with that. But to quit,

Joe Cadwell  25:44  
for sure, the bit sounds like the ends justify the means. And so many of those combat missions and the value that you could achieve from from focusing in and overcoming your fears were pulled you through but something is say benign is flying across the line, just that the value just wasn't there. And at a certain point, you decided that was enough. And for me, shifting gears just a little bit and addressing fears that I know you are a master at addressing this fear of public speaking so many people out there are just fearful of of getting up in front of a group and speaking and I it's something that I've been working on for years now to try to perfect my style. But having watched your videos and having talked to people and heard testimonials of your keynote speeches, you have just done a fantastic job of overcoming that fear. And how were the keynote speaking come from? How did you become such a master relayer of information and I hate to say it but a motivational speaker, these people the testimonials I've seen people just come out of there and they're they're buzzed by what what Waldo Waldman has to say,

Waldo Waldman  26:50  
thank you, I appreciate that. And you know, it's an evolution, right i, i do pretty well now. You know, I command a good fee, I was just in Dubai speaking for around 500 global audience sales channel, marketing people from from all over Asia and Europe and Australia. And so I was a little frayed on that one. But it goes back once again, knowing your audience being prepared, knowing your opening and your closing tight, because when you take the stage, you look out at the people like oh, crap, you know, I got to do this, I better know my opening. And really what I'm going to say out of my mouth very, very clearly. But it's a lot about training, you've got to work your way through the evolution of being confident and present on a platform. My wife has panicked in front of people, she's really great one on one, but she just like most of us are afraid of public speaking. So couple things. Number one, obviously be prepared. Know your openings, know your audience and, and rehearse your speech as much as you can. But then also, I like to tell people, you know, just talk to one person in the crowd. Look at that person, focus on that one, the man or woman with a smile on their face, maybe you spoke to them beforehand, find out where they're sitting, and then lock eyes with that human who has a heart and a soul and it was cheering for you. And just have that conversation with them rather than being overwhelmed with the the 100 or 500, or a couple 1000 people in that audience, right? Have a conversation focus on one, also realize that if you focus on the outcome, and you're not present, and you're worrying about how people are going to view you if you're saying the right thing, if you're not eloquent, if you're not, you know, sharing the exact thing that you practice, right? If you're worried about the outcome more than just being present, you will also be fearful. You have to divorce yourself from the outcome from whether or not they like you from whether or not you get a standing ovation, and just stay present. And this is why I think I'm pretty good at this. And even when I'm able to be present with a guy like you, Jonah, and you're a great interviewer. I know I'm yapping a little bit too much here because you got me rolling on these on these rabbit holes of content. But as long as I'm myself as long as I don't care what you think of me, if I truly want you to grow and love you enough to truly speak from my heart which is prepared, and I'm authentic and it's who I am. You can't be s and audience anymore. You kind of use it in some ways people through social media and all that they send somebody's in authenticity, and they will forgive your stutter your pause your your pacing back and forth. they'll forgive some of that. If they know you're speaking authentically of who you are not Something that you read not somebody that you're trying to be not because you want to be a speaker like Tony Robbins or have the sage stage skills of me or anyone else, just be who you are, take some risks, cut a vein and be you. And if you can be you, maybe 90% of the audience may not like it, maybe, but you want to go for that five or 10%. He said, I love this person, Joe, he was a buffoon on stage, he didn't really have eloquence, His stories were a little disjointed, but I get it, I get the message. And this person wanted what's best for me. And you'll slowly build your, your fan base of people who love you for who you are, and in all your heart in preparation and content that you have, not because you didn't have a perfect opening, and weren't able to tell an eloquent story and that piece on stage. You know,

Joe Cadwell  30:54  
authenticity definitely goes a long way. And you have a lot of passion that you bring, I can see on those videos that I've watched of you at your keynote speeches. And I think you had mentioned earlier on in that about reaching out to one person and I think that you know, to distill it all back down, reaching out to that one person making a difference in one person's life is sort of the heart and soul of your book. Never fly solo as a wingman. On the ladder of life, you not only have one hand reaching up to look for help and guidance and to learn from someone else. But you should also have a hand down which is helping to lift someone up behind you. And making those connections can be rather difficult in the carpenters union and a lot of trades. With apprenticeships, we look at finding a mentor in the field someone that can learn to craft from in life, I had a good mentor Unfortunately, he passed away a few years ago, great friend of mine, who I met through scuba diving, coincidentally, teaching him how to scuba dive. But finding that wing man building that trust building that accountability, identifying as in your terms of an act of art terms of binocular, identifying your blind spots, checking your six, how do you find these people in your life? How do you cultivate those relationships?

Waldo Waldman  32:04  
So I appreciate you know, it reminded me of my quote, you know, keep your hand up on the ladder of life and your hand down. It's, you know, if you want to find a wing man, a trusted partner, somebody that you can go to for help, then be that wing man, a wing man, be that resource that that comrade of courage that lifts others up, that's always there to help others out. It's volunteering, that showing up going above and beyond nurturing those relationships that are simply a byproduct of, of authentic, caring and helping of others accomplish their goals. Right. And so So really focus on that, you know, I know some people will thinking it, I don't really have that many women. Hey, just show up. You don't have to be Mr. or Mrs. Charisma. You don't have to have an MBA and be a multimillionaire. Yeah, I'm going to actor as somebody with celebrity panache and all that baloney. If you just show up saying how can I help and find a way to give your wings away, you you'll just nurture relationships and have others God forbid that when you need them, you'll be able to have a Rolodex of people for help. You know, Elizabeth Dole, when she ran the Red Cross said, I didn't wait for the rivers to flood before I built relationships. And relationships, like I said to me is just as just nurturing, helping out folks, and really caring and giving your wings away. And I also think it's a responsibility. Like I said, to have your hand up, seek out those mentors who are wrong or to above you and kindly and compassionately and respectfully, ask them for a little bit of help. Don't be bashful in this you know, people in generally want to help, especially senior leaders, they got there for a reason. And so you really need to seek those out and be intentional, and then find a way to help them out. Just because they're a senior leader or a business owner or somebody you want to emulate doesn't mean that you don't have some value and experience that can help them

Joe Cadwell  34:19  
absolutely, you know, health and fitness

Waldo Waldman  34:20  
or will be you know, relationship skills or whatever, you know, and, and many people get joy out of helping somebody when the they see you respecting him or her by taking the action of their guidance and their mentorship. When you take the action and you inform them of the blessings that you have. I'm going to a funeral tomorrow for a man named Jean Griezmann. He played Abraham Lincoln as a speaker, a wonderful human being. I started in the profession. I seeked out these mentors and there were a lot older than me, him and Ken fudge and these others, and I took them to lunch, and they were gracious with their time and feedback, beautiful hearing beings, then I, you know, fortunately I was able to crush it in the industry, they kind of stayed and moved up a little bit by catapulted myself above them. But I've always let them know how grateful I was for them. I've given them coaching. They don't buy lunch when they're with me. So I'm going to honor my friend Jean Grassman, a human, a wonderful human being, for being that way, man for me, and coaching me up and then like I said, Finally, hey, know that you've got to keep that hand down to lift others up on that ladder of life and seek out others you can help. Be intentional about it. And you never know who what kind of impact you can make on these people who may be dealing with some challenges or engine failures.

Joe Cadwell  35:40  
Yeah, absolutely. Well, Waldo, this has been a fantastic conversation. Really appreciate it. Where can people go to find out more about you and your organization and your message?

Waldo Waldman  35:51  
So number one, Google Waldo Walden. That's a quick way to do it. I'm all over social media. LinkedIn is a great place to connect with me. If you do connect with me there. Make sure you tell them tell me that you found me on grid nation. Waldo Waldman, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. And then my website is your wingman.com www dot your wing man.com. And I'm gonna put my website up there. But although you can't see it, if you go to, if you go to your wing, man.com forward slash, and Fs like never fly solo. I'll give you all a free audiobook. It's 20 bucks on Audible. But for for being a listener of Joe's podcast, you will get a download to that audio book never fly. So when you do get it, I'd love to know that you got it from from this podcast, but share it with your kids, share it with your loved ones. The ultimate, you know, attribute that you can, you know, the ultimate ultimate metric on on growth is when you take the action from these podcasts and shift the way you're doing things to a more productive, positive way in your life. So those are quick ways to track me down.

Joe Cadwell  36:59  
Yeah, well, thank you so much for that. I'll make sure to add that to the show notes for anyone who's listening at free copy of 10 of Colonel Waldo Waldman's book never fly solo audio version. Fantastic. Well, thank you again, so much for taking your time to be on the show today. While though this has been a real pleasure. You got to

Waldo Waldman  37:17  
Joe, it's been an honor getting to know you and I look forward to continuing that relationship as well.

Joe Cadwell  37:21  
My guest today has been Waldo Waldman, author of The New York Times best selling book, never fly solo. To find out more about Waldo in his work, be sure to check out the show notes for this episode, or visit the grid nation website at grid nation podcast.com. As always, thanks for your continued support. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please consider sharing with a friend or family member or anyone else you think may get something out of it. Till next time, this is Joe Cadwell. Thank you for wanting to know more today than you did yesterday. Before we go last last question. Have you ever been back in the water again?

Waldo Waldman  37:58  
I did. Thank you for asking. I did it was in the Great Barrier Reef. I was in Korea and I went down to Australia. So long story short when I told the guys I said listen, I'm afraid of death. I'm scared of this. I don't want to do it. I'm you know, help.

Joe Cadwell  38:12  
My favorite student.

Waldo Waldman  38:15  
Yep. And so he put me in a page they lowered me down. You okay,

Joe Cadwell  38:19  
you okay? You're out what great white diamond or what? No, exactly.

Waldo Waldman  38:23  
But there had an age there. So we just lowered ourselves down. He probably did some of that as well. It'll be down and we went all by I have a video of it too. And they made a great experience. i That was the second time I've done it. I haven't done it again. I would go again. I would

Joe Cadwell  38:38  
view you ever want a real lesson and we can work it out. Man. I've been teaching for over 30 years. You know, I've always prided myself and my mom early on in my dive dive instructor career told me about a horrible experience like you suffered and where she almost died. And it just drove home the fact that hey, man, I'm here for more than just chasing bikinis around and just making you know, fun in the sun. This is a people's lives. This is an introduction to a completely foreign environment to them that can be very unforgiving. And I want to make this the best possible experience. You know, I'm going to do the best I can to make sure you have a pleasant introduction. And so I've never done done that. Just grab and go. That's horrible. I've seen other instructors do that and it'll turn people off to the sport. And in like you say I've had so many people that come to me or have come to me in the years past trying to overcome a fear of phobia of a near drowning experience. And they're the toughest students man it's tough but once you can get over that fear and phobia, and you can introduce them to the beauty and wonder of the underwater world. It's it's it's a magical place.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai